I am deep enough in this first draft to be absent-minded, daydreamy, always a step back from the present, distracted, and even when I am not thinking I feel like I am thinking.
That's the good news.
The bad news is I am deep enough in this first draft to have it seeping from my skin and I am not enjoying sharing head space with my narrator right now. It's a fucked-up time for her and for everyone around her even if they think all is good and fine in the world. If I had the luxury and privilege of going into the full immersion the draft is teasing me with, I would gladly go over the deep end. But there are small animals to care for, physical therapy, meals, dirty dishes, calls to make, leads that fade and have to be picked up again later, family and relationships I actually like and don't want to drop for a few weeks/months/a year and the general need for non-writing in order to be able to think about writing and write.
So here I sit.